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    怎样赢得朋友和影响别人(戴尔·卡耐基)



    作者:abscottlee 阅读次数:3280


     
     
    How To Win Friends And Influence People
    By
    Dale Carnegie
    --------------
    Copyright - 1936 / 1964 / 1981 (Revised Edition)
    Library of Congress Catalog Number - 17-19-20-18
    ISBN - O-671-42517-X
    Scan Version : v 1.0
    Format : Text with cover pictures.
    Date Scanned: Unknown
    Posted to (Newsgroup): alt.binaries.e-book
    Scan/Edit Note: I have made minor changes to this work, including a
    contents page, covers etc. I did not scan this work (I only have the
    1964 version) but decided to edit it since I am working on Dale's
    other book "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" and thought it
    best to make minor improvements. Parts 5 and 6 were scanned and
    added to this version by me, they were not included (for some
    reason) in the version which appeared on alt.binaries.e-book.
    -Salmun
    --------------
    Contents:
    Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve
    Preface to Revised Edition
    How This Book Was Written-And Why
    Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
    Part 2 - Six Ways To Make People Like You
    • 1 - Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere
    • 2 - A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression
    • 3 - If You Don't Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble
    • 4 - An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
    • 5 - How to Interest People
    • 6 - How To Make People Like You Instantly
    • In A Nutshell
    Part 3 - Twelve Ways To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
    • 1 - You Can't Win an Argument
    • 2 - A Sure Way of Making Enemies—and How to Avoid It
    • 3 - If You're Wrong, Admit It
    • 4 - The High Road to a Man's Reason
    • 5 - The Secret of Socrates
    • 6 - The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
    • 7 - How to Get Co-operation
    • 8 - A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You
    • 9 - What Everybody Wants
    • 10 - An Appeal That Everybody Likes
    • 11 - The Movies Do It. Radio Does It. Why Don't You Do It?
    • 12 - When Nothing Else Works, Try This
    • In A Nutshell
    Part 4 - Nine Ways To Change People Without Giving Offence Or
    Arousing Resentment
    • 1 - If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
    • 2 - How to Criticize—and Not Be Hated for It
    • 3 - Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
    • 4 - No One Likes to Take Orders
    • 5 - Let the Other Man Save His Face
    • 6 - How to Spur Men on to Success
    • 7 - Give the Dog a Good Name
    • 8 - Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
    • 9 - Making People Glad to Do What You Want
    • In A Nutshell
    Part 5 - Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
    Part 6 - Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
    • 1 - How to Dig Your Marital Grave in the Quickest Possible Way
    • 2 - Love and Let Live
    • 3 - Do This and You'll Be Looking Up the Time-Tables to Reno
    • 4 - A Quick Way to Make Everybody Happy
    • 5 - They Mean So Much to a Woman
    • 6 - If you Want to be Happy, Don't Neglect This One
    • 7 - Don't Be a "Marriage Illiterate"
    • In A Nutshell
    --------------
    Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve
    • 1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new
    visions, discover new ambitions.
    • 2. Make friends quickly and easily.
    • 3. Increase your popularity.
    • 4. Win people to your way of thinking.
    • 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things
    done.
    • 6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts
    smooth and pleasant.
    • 7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
    • 8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
    This book has done all these things for more than ten million readers
    in thirty-six languages.
    --------------
    Preface to Revised Edition
    How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937
    in an edition of only five thousand copies. Neither Dale Carnegie nor
    the publishers, Simon and Schuster, anticipated more than this
    modest sale. To their amazement, the book became an overnight
    sensation, and edition after edition rolled off the presses to keep up
    with the increasing public demand. Now to Win Friends and
    InfEuence People took its place in publishing history as one of the
    all-time international best-sellers. It touched a nerve and filled a
    human need that was more than a faddish phenomenon of post-
    Depression days, as evidenced by its continued and uninterrupted
    sales into the eighties, almost half a century later.
    Dale Carnegie used to say that it was easier to make a million dollars
    than to put a phrase into the English language. How to Win Friends
    and Influence People became such a phrase, quoted, paraphrased,
    parodied, used in innumerable contexts from political cartoon to
    novels. The book itself was translated into almost every known
    written language. Each generation has discovered it anew and has
    found it relevant.
    Which brings us to the logical question: Why revise a book that has
    proven and continues to prove its vigorous and universal appeal?
    Why tamper with success?
    To answer that, we must realize that Dale Carnegie himself was a
    tireless reviser of his own work during his lifetime. How to Win
    Friends and Influence People was written to be used as a textbook
    for his courses in Effective Speaking and Human Relations and is still
    used in those courses today. Until his death in 1955 he constantly
    improved and revised the course itself to make it applicable to the
    evolving needs of an every-growing public. No one was more
    sensitive to the changing currents of present-day life than Dale
    Carnegie. He constantly improved and refined his methods of
    teaching; he updated his book on Effective Speaking several times.
    Had he lived longer, he himself would have revised How to Win
    Friends and Influence People to better reflect the changes that have
    taken place in the world since the thirties.
    Many of the names of prominent people in the book, well known at
    the time of first publication, are no longer recognized by many of
    today's readers. Certain examples and phrases seem as quaint and
    dated in our social climate as those in a Victorian novel. The
    important message and overall impact of the book is weakened to
    that extent.
    Our purpose, therefore, in this revision is to clarify and strengthen
    the book for a modern reader without tampering with the content.
    We have not "changed" How to Win Friends and Influence People
    except to make a few excisions and add a few more contemporary
    examples. The brash, breezy Carnegie style is intact-even the thirties
    slang is still there. Dale Carnegie wrote as he spoke, in an intensively
    exuberant, colloquial, conversational manner.
    So his voice still speaks as forcefully as ever, in the book and in his
    work. Thousands of people all over the world are being trained in
    Carnegie courses in increasing numbers each year. And other
    thousands are reading and studying How to Win Friends and
    lnfluence People and being inspired to use its principles to better
    their lives. To all of them, we offer this revision in the spirit of the
    honing and polishing of a finely made tool.
    Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie)
    --------------------------
    How This Book Was Written-And Why
    by
    Dale Carnegie
    During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the
    publishing houses of America printed more than a fifth of a million
    different books. Most of them were deadly dull, and many were
    financial failures. "Many," did I say? The president of one of the
    largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his
    company, after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost
    money on seven out of every eight books it published.
    Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after
    I had written it, why should you bother to read it?
    Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them.
    I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business
    and professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted
    courses in public speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by
    actual experience, to think on their feet and express their ideas with
    more clarity, more effectiveness and more poise, both in business
    interviews and before groups.
    But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realized that as sorely as
    these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still
    more training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday
    business and social contacts.
    I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training
    myself. As I look back across the years, I am appalled at my own
    frequent lack of finesse and understanding. How I wish a book such
    as this had been placed in my hands twenty years ago! What a
    priceless boon it would have been.
    Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face,
    especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are
    a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago
    under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement
    of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact
    later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute
    of Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such
    technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial
    success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is
    due to skill in human engineering-to personality and the ability to
    lead people.
    For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers'
    Club of Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of
    the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably
    more than fifteen hundred engineers have passed through my
    classes. They came to me because they had finally realized, after
    years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel
    in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about
    engineering. One can for example, hire mere technical ability in
    engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at
    nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus
    the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse
    enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning
    power.
    In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that "the ability
    to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or
    coffee." "And I will pay more for that ability," said John D., "than for
    any other under the sun."